Win Every Disagreement

1 Simple Rule to Build Trust

You stand in the meeting room. The plan sounds terrible.
But the decision is made.

Now what?

Most engineers walk away frustrated.

They nod, smile, and sabotage the plan without saying a word.
They think, "I tried my best."

Or worse - "Not my problem now."

But great engineers don't do that.

The Tent Rule

Jocko Willink calls it "Don't leave the tent."

It's simple: If you disagree, you stay put.
Not until someone gives in. Not until you "win."
But until you truly understand each other.

Because once you exit that door, you own the mission.

Even if it wasn't your idea. Even if you fought against it.
You execute like you invented it yourself.

That's the discipline.

And that's how real teams win.

The Mars Climate Orbiter Disaster

In 1999, NASA lost a $125 million spacecraft because of a simple disagreement.

Engineers at Lockheed Martin used imperial units (pounds).
NASA's team used metric (newtons).

Several engineers spotted the problem. Concerns were raised in meetings.

But no one stayed in the tent until it was resolved.

The result?

The spacecraft burned up in Mars' atmosphere.
Years of work - gone in seconds.

This happens in tech companies every day. Projects fail. Teams blame each other. Trust shatters.

All because someone left the tent too soon.

Flip Your Goal Upside Down

When arguing, most people think: "How do I prove I'm right?"

Wrong question.

Here’s a better approach:
"When I disagree with someone, my goal is to understand why they're right and I'm wrong."

Wait - you're trying to prove yourself wrong?

Yes. And it works like magic.

The Ego Trap

Two people on the same team rarely want different outcomes.

You both want:

• The project to succeed

• The team to thrive

• The problem solved

You just see different paths to the same destination.

So why the fight?

One word: Ego.

When your goal shifts from "winning" to "understanding," your ego steps aside. Now real solutions can appear.

But What If You're Really Right?

Sometimes you are right. And they still don't listen.

Even then, don't leave the tent bitter.

You have choices:

• Execute with full commitment

• Reduce risks where possible

• Protect your team

• Learn from what happens

No silent rebellion. No "I told you so."

That's what great engineers do.

The Magic Question

Next time you're in a heated disagreement, ask this:

"What am I missing here?"

Not sarcastically. Not as a trick. But with genuine curiosity.

This question unlocks doors. It builds trust. It shows respect.

And sometimes, it reveals that you were wrong all along, which means you just got smarter!

Final Thoughts

Here's the truth:

By trying to lose arguments, you'll win more of them.

Not by fighting harder, but by listening deeper.

Engineers who feel heard become willing to hear you.
Engineers who know you respect their ideas open their minds to yours.

"Don't leave the tent" doesn't mean argue forever.
It means stay connected until the truth emerges.

That's how you win every disagreement.

Even when you lose the argument.