How to Handle Unfair Feedback

1 Strategy to Grow From Criticism

You just sat through your one-on-one.
Your manager said something about your personality.
Something that didn’t sit right.

You’re only five months into the job.
You barely talk outside of meetings.
And suddenly…
They’ve got you figured out?

You want to push back.
Explain yourself.
Show them they’re wrong.

But you don’t.
Because deep down, you know how that ends:

“Defensive.”
“Can’t take feedback.”
“Not a team player.”

So you bite your tongue.
You smile.
You nod.
But inside, you’re frustrated as hell.

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Here’s what no one tells you.

You don’t have to agree with feedback to use it.

Read that again.

Feedback is just a flashlight.
It doesn’t mean the light is aimed perfectly.
But it still shows you something.

• Maybe it shows you how your manager sees the world.

• Maybe it shows you how you’re coming across, even if it’s not who you are.

• Maybe it shows you the difference between your intention and your impact.

That gap is where trust lives.
Or dies.

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Now here’s the truth:

Even if the feedback is 90% wrong, that 10% might change everything.

It might be a blind spot.

• A tone you didn’t hear.

• A habit you picked up from a past job.

• A reaction others feel, even if you didn’t mean it.

And if you can fix it?
Even better.

Because the goal isn’t to win the argument.
It’s to win long-term influence.

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Let me give you a cheat code:

Next time they give you critique, say this:

“Got it. I’d love to get better at this. Can I take a few notes?”

Then do it. Literally. Pull out a notebook.

No sarcasm. No eye-roll.
Just real curiosity.

Even if you think they’re wrong, they’ll see:

• You’re open.

• You’re humble.

• You’re professional.

And while you’re writing, listen. Really listen.

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Here’s why it works:

1. It shows maturity.
   Most people argue. You learn.

2. It gives you power.
   Feedback isn’t control. It’s a tool. Use it to adapt, not obey.

3. It teaches you about them.
   Every comment tells you who they are. What matters to them. What they struggle with.

Even bad feedback makes you smarter.

Because here’s the real power move:

• Use bad feedback to become a better communicator.

• Use wrong feedback to spot new angles.

• Use frustrating feedback to gain emotional control.

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Feedback isn’t about truth.

It’s about perspective.

And the most valuable feedback you’ll ever get…
might be the one you hate the most.

Because it forces you to do something rare:

Look at yourself from someone else’s eyes.

And if you have the guts to look…

You’ll see something no resume, no praise, no title can give you:
Clarity.

And here’s the thing:

Not all feedback is right.
But almost all of it is useful.

If it doesn’t teach you about yourself,
It teaches you about them.

And if you’re paying attention,
You’ll always come out smarter.