How to Lead Your Life

The Leadership System I Wish I Had in My 20s

I used to think leaders were born special.
Like they had superpowers the rest of us didn't get.

Boy, was I wrong.

One day, I was walking with some friends. They looked at me with wide eyes and said, "You always know exactly what to do. How?"

I smiled and took the compliment. Who doesn't love being called awesome?

But later that night, alone with my thoughts, I had to be honest with myself.

I've made plenty of bad calls in my life.
More than I'd like to admit.

The truth hit me like a punch: My good decisions weren't magic. They came from learning from all those mistakes.

So what changed? I created a mental checklist that I run through before every decision. And it's completely changed my life.

The Decision Framework That Could Change Your Life Too

1. Time Check

I always ask: How much time do I have? This matters more than anything.

You can't fight the clock. But you can get ahead of it.

My secret weapon: If I can do something right now, I DO IT RIGHT NOW. Not tomorrow. Not later. Now.

This simple habit has put me ahead of 80% of engineers I know.

2. Support System

I never leave my engineers hanging without backup. Any good decision makes sure my team has what they need.

When I split resources between projects, I make sure nobody gets left with nothing while another gets everything.

3. Simplicity Rule

If my plan sounds like a complicated movie plot, I throw it out.

The best decisions I've ever made were surprisingly simple. The worst ones? Those fancy complicated plans that fell apart at the first problem.

What shocked me: When I look back I can’t recall I once thought: "this needs to be MORE complicated." Always less.

4. Focus on Priorities

Every decision I make has to answer one question: Does this fit my priorities?

I learned the hard way that doing ten things halfway gets me nowhere. Finishing one thing completely gets me somewhere.

5. Share the Load

The biggest game-changer? Learning I don't have to do everything myself.

When I have a task, I first ask: Can someone else handle this?

Here’s what most engineers don’t expect (me included):

The more I grew as a leader, the LESS I actually did myself. My job became helping others step up.

6. Ego Check

This one's painful but necessary. Before any big decision, I ask: "Am I doing this because of my ego?"

I've seen terrible decisions made just because someone's pride was on the line. Including my own.

I always ask myself: "Why am I REALLY doing this?" If the answer is "to look cool" or "to feel important," I stop right there.

7. Emotion Monitor

I've made awful decisions when too angry. But here's the weird part - I've made equally bad ones when too excited.

The goal isn't to become a robot. That leads to misery. You just need to understand how your feelings are driving your choices.

8. Multiple Viewpoints

This was hard to accept: My view alone is ALWAYS incomplete.

I think of it like looking at a house. From the front, it might look perfect. But I need to walk all the way around to really know what I'm dealing with.

The surprising truth:
The engineers who disagree with me are often the ones I need to listen to most.

9. Mission Alignment

Every decision gets one simple test: Does this fit my long-term goals?

If what I'm doing today doesn't help me get where I want to go tomorrow, why am I doing it?

10. Relationship Guardian

This is my MOST important rule. How will my choice affect relationships with my team, clients, family, or friends?

The biggest surprise in my career: Sometimes the "wrong" decision for the career is actually the right decision for the relationship.

Final Thoughts

Here's what took me years to learn:

Use this framework enough times, and eventually, you won't need it anymore. These points become your instinct.

That's how I developed my "leadership instincts" - not by being born special.

Now when I face a tough choice, I run through my list. What used to take hours now takes minutes.

And when people look at me and say, "You just know what to do," I smile, knowing it's not magic.

It's method. And it can be yours too.