How to Lead Someone Who Wants Your Job
1 Tactic to Turn Ego Into Growth
I used to hate working with people who thought they knew better than me.
You know who I'm talking about.
The ones who challenge everything. Question your plans. Act like they should be in charge.
I tried everything to deal with them.
I pushed back harder. I ignored them. I even tried to get them transferred to other teams.
Nothing worked.
Until I discovered the simple secret.
The Surprising Truth
Most leaders try to contain bossy people.
"Stay in your lane." "Follow the process." "That's not your decision to make."
But here's the twist:
The solution isn't to give them less power.
It's to give them more.
Why This Works When Nothing Else Does
Engineers who want to be the boss aren't usually trying to make your life miserable.
They're stuck.
They have ideas burning inside them. They see problems they think they can fix.
But nobody will let them try.
So they become the critic. The challenger. The eye-roller.
It's frustrating for everyone.
Let Them Feel the Weight
When someone keeps reaching for power, I don’t argue.
I give it to them.
“Great. You’re leading the next project.”
They light up.
Feel important.
And then… the pressure hits.
Deadlines. Decisions. Responsibility.
Suddenly, the silence is louder than their confidence.
But What If They Do a Great Job?
Even better.
If they shine - let them.
And here’s the gut-punch most leaders can’t handle:
If someone can do it better than you, let them.
Why?
Because it’s not about you.
It’s about the mission.
You’re not building your ego.
You’re building a team.
And strong teams need strong players, not just obedient ones.
The Real Takeaway
Let the “wannabe boss” lead.
One of two things will happen:
They’ll learn how hard it is and humble themselves.
They’ll crush it and earn your trust.
Either way, you win.
Because leadership isn’t about keeping control.
It’s about building engineers strong enough to lead without you.
And that’s how real teams grow.