How to Deal with a Toxic Leader

4 Steps to Protect Your Career

You walk into a meeting ready to collaborate and solve problems. But the moment one person speaks, the air becomes tense:

• Dismissing ideas.

• Taking credit for work they didn’t do.

• Making every discussion a battle.

And worse? No one stops them. Why?

They are your leader.

Because they “know too much.” Because leadership is afraid to lose them.

So now, you’re stuck. But here’s the truth:

No one is that valuable. No one should have that much control.

Step 1: Understand What’s Really Happening

Most toxic leaders weren’t always like this.

At some point, they were good.
But success fed their ego.
Now, they act like they’re the smartest person in the room.

The first move? Test the waters.

Try a one-on-one conversation:

“Hey, I’ve noticed a lot of tension in meetings. What’s going on?”

Sometimes, this opens the door for change.
Other times, it confirms what you already know:

They don’t care.

Step 2: Make Sure They’re Not Irreplaceable

Toxic leaders thrive on control. They make sure:

• No one else knows what they know.

• No one else can do what they do.

• No one can challenge them.

Change that.

Start documenting processes.
Share knowledge across the team.
Make sure everyone can step in when needed.

The moment their power fades, so does their grip on the team.

Step 3: Call Out the Behavior - Without Escalating

Direct confrontation?
Not always the best move.

But small, consistent pushes work:

• “I didn’t quite follow that decision - can you explain the reasoning?”

• “I’d love to hear what the rest of the team thinks before we move forward.”

• “I noticed we dismissed an idea earlier. Can we circle back to it?”

It forces them to justify their actions.
And over time? It exposes the cracks.

Step 4: If Nothing Changes, Protect Yourself

The hardest truth? Some leaders won’t change.

If they:

• Dismiss feedback

• Refuse to share control

• Make every day miserable

Then it’s time to make a choice.

• Can you transfer teams?

• Is leadership aware of the problem?

• Do you have a better opportunity elsewhere?

Because one thing’s for sure:
Staying silent won’t fix it.

Toxic leaders only survive when good engineers put up with them.

Don't.